Not Quite 40

When I was 19, 39 seemed ancient to me. At 19, I was a sophomore in college with not a care in the world (of course I thought my life was really tough because of papers, projects, tests, etc.). Little did I know that there would be days in my future where I would long to still be that girl in college enjoying the beautiful Santa Barbara life with friends and (relatively) easy academic life. At 19, I didn't worry about what would happen to my figure if I ate Burger King at 2am. At 19, I didn't see lines forming around my eyes...and my forehead...and around my lips. I never even wore sunscreen! At 19, when I looked in the mirror I saw youth without even knowing it! Even 10 years later, 39 still seemed really old to me. At 29, I had traveled a good portion of the world, was married for four years already, had a master's degree, had an 18-month old baby girl, was only 6 months away from the beginning of being pregnant for nearly all of the next two years - with boys born 14 months apart. By the time I was 31, I had three babies under the age of five! CRAZY!

The last 10 years have flown by - faster than a bullet train in Japan. Well, the inevitable has snuck upon me, and 39 no longer feels/seems old. On the inside I am still that 19-year-old, but when I look in the mirror I only see a small semblance of what I saw at 19. But, I also see a woman who loves her life!

I am going to live every minute of my last year in my 30s to its fullest, and when 40 comes in 12 short months, I will embrace it with all my might (I think). Life is beautiful, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

I cut these in the garden and my ever-present photographer insisted on some portrait shots Kiana Underwood / | Photography: N.R. Underwood /


Styling and design by Kiana Underwood Photography by N.R. Underwood